back and forth realism and manga/anime style sometimes isn’t good, sometimes you just forget which coloring style for which~ and in the end you mixed them, and the worse thing is when you didn’t realize it until a very rude stranger told you about that

and this is actually just happened to me

today is one month after my mom died.
every time i think about it, it’s still hard to believe.. i still can feel her present at home.. i feel like i could hear her voice at anytime, i wait but it never came…
then yesterday i had a dream about her, she asked.. did i missed her? i said yes, and then i hug her for a while, then she said she’s leaving, and i see her walking away from me and disappear into the light…
it wasn’t a sad feeling at all, i can feel she is happy, and it’s make me happy.
and yesterday evening, I discover my elder sister has almost the same dream as mine, mom told her she’s leaving too.. she will go far away, she looks so calm, happy and sincere, my sister said..

so she’s really are leaving.. when i think about it again i become sad.. and i can’t help but cry~
i probably won’t be able to feel her present anymore after the 40th day of her death, i don’t know how it would feel like~

the feeling when your drawing only need 10 seconds more before it finish and then the electricity off instantly…

so lonely..

leaf through my old magazines

found few Daijiro Kato’s photos in it

and few my baby Abe’s photos

Maybe I’ll scan it later~

I hate browsing clow reed tags, it’s always make my mood down~ 

my birthday will ended in less than 3 hours, such a lonely day like always, any one want to draw me a cute chibi yue or sesshomaru? no..? ok.. *back to eat the cake  and read fanfic*

this is no good, oh how much I crave to see Yue’s fair skin tainted with his blood, on top of Clow’s bed, bounded by magic, eyes filled with desire.. screaming and pleading for more pain and touches…

*sigh* Yue.. I want to draw a shape of heart on your chest with a sharp and beautiful dagger to show you how much I love you.

My dearest moon angel-Yue..I want to see you crying in despair…

aaaaaaaaaaaah no no no no…. I have to find that missing folder, it’s quite bothersome to search all the files of mede shireru yoru no junjou I’ve downloaded all over again, because, beside the English scanlation, I also have the scans of all the volumes in Japanese and Chinese, and the raw Japanese novel with pretty illustrations of Kincho and Kagerou too TAT

I forgot where I download it, I forgot where I save it

at this rate.. there is only one thing I can do..

oyasumi.

I forgot where I save my fav yaoi manga files, there are mede shireru yoru no junjou and crimson spell in that folder…

err…

the easiest way…

download it all over again…

yosh…

donlot cardcaptor sakura yg digitally remastered, 12.15GB ….. kemaren donlot film 1.5GB 4jam-an, brarti.. kira2.. 32 jam-an aka 2hari an…

kampreeeeeeeeet klo ga gara2 yue..ga bakalan gw donlot… mana speed internet disini jg seadanya cm 130kb/s 

This artist named Feimo at DA is my inspiration, my passion, my goal, the one I always look up for years. Even until now it’s seems still so far away to be able to create such beautiful art like she did, but I believe I walking toward that road.. slowly… very slowly… well…hope so.. uh…ok…  

when people misunderstood your words, and you couldn’t tell them the true, because they’re happy, and you don’t want to crushed their happiness 

In the end Yue lost that Clamp fanclub group’s polling at DA  that was so close, lost only by two votes from the 1st place… 

Afficher davantage